The VS. for the Classically Humorous

Did you know that from the ancient Greeks into the 1800s, a whole bunch of folks had a very systematic but very humorous way of thinking about human health and emotions? Yes, it was extremely humorous.

Oh, were you thinking it was funny? Well, it was pretty odd. Not terribly scientific. But of course it was mostly humorous because it involved… you know. Humors. The old word for bodily fluids.

Ahem. If you’re not familiar with the classical humors— the fluids that philosophers and physicians once thought composed the whole human body— check this out.

Humor #1: Blood

• Associated with the heart.
• Also associated with spring and the classical element of air.
• Someone considered to have an excess of blood was called sanguine, a word we still use in English today.
• Sanguine people were identified by their optimism and friendliness, as well as by the tendency to be flighty or forgetful.

Humor #2: Yellow Bile

• Associated with the liver.
• Also associated with summer and the classical element of fire.
• Someone considered to have an excess of yellow bile was called choleric, still found in several European words today; related also to having gall.
• Choleric people were identified by their ambition and strength, as well as by short (and bad) tempers.

Humor #3: Black Bile

• Associated with the spleen.
• Also associated with autumn and the classical element of earth.
• Someone considered to have an excess of black bile was called melancholic, combining melan- for “black” with choler.
• Melancholic people were identified by their serious and quiet natures, as well as by the tendency toward— you guessed it— sadness.

Humor #4: Phlegm

• Associated with the brain.
• Also associated with winter and the classical element of water.
• Someone considered to have an excess of phlegm was called phlegmatic, another word you might still see in English.
• Phlegmatic people were identified by being the calm, chill types with a ton of patience.

No one’s quite sure what all these humors were really supposed to be. The best anyone can guess is that if you separate blood by sedimentation, you’ll notice dark/black clots (“black bile”), the red bloods cells (blood), the white blood cells (“phlegm”), and yellowish plasma (“yellow bile”). But it’s a mystery, and it all hardly holds any weight today.

Still… there’s nothing like a chance to have a battle based on bodily fluids. That’s how we roll at Eyewire. Pick your humor now— this four-way throwdown will start at 11:00 AM EST on 2/11 and run for 24 hours!

The usual bonuses
Earn 5,000 points – 2,500 bonus
Earn 15,000 points – 5,000 bonus
Earn 25,000 points – 10,000 bonus
For every 25,000 points above 25,000 – 5,000 bonus
Member of winning team (if you’ve scored at least 2,500 points) – 10,000 bonus
Highest scorer on each team – 5,000 bonus
Player with #1 overall score – 10,000 bonus
Player with #2 overall score – 5,000 bonus
Player with #3 overall score – 2,500 bonus