How the Grimch stole Eyewire
Every player in Eyewire liked tracing a lot,
But the reaper, who lived beneath Eyewire, did not.
The Grimch hated tracing, the whole tracing season!
Now, please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his scythe wasn’t polished just right,
It could be, perhaps, that his cloak was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his brain or his cloak,
He stood there just hating the Eyewire folk.
Staring out from his mansion with a mean, frightening frown,
At least, one could imagine, somewhere under his gown.
For it seemed every player in Eyewire above,
Was tracing each cube with a sciency love.
“And they’re adding in boutons, they’re putting on nubs,”
“They’re talking and laughing in their citizen sciencey clubs.”
“The holiday season is coming quite near”
“The players are filled up with holiday cheer.”
For he knew that while all the players were on break,
The site would be hopping, oh the cells they would trace!
They’d be tracing artifacts, such results they would yield!
From the relics, the forts, and the bipolar fields.
They’d wake bright and early, they’d log on quite quick,
And then the Grimch knew, they would click, and they’d click!
That’s the one thing he hated!
That CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK!
The more the Grimch thought of this holiday bash,
The more the Grimch thought “I must stop it, and fast!”
“Since two-thousand and twelve I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop the holiday tracing, but how?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRIMCH GOT A WONDERFUL AWFUL IDEA!
“It says that HQ needs a dev girl or guy”
“I’ll forge up my resume, then I’ll apply!”
“I’ll put years of experience, I’ll make quite a fuss”
“I’ll say I know Javascript, PHP, C++”
“And once I’ve bamboozled, I’ve schemed, and I’ve lied”
“I’ll shut down the whole thing from the inside!”
So he drew up his documents, he bought a new suit,
And he sent in an email to Eyewire HQ.
And, well, HQ they bought it, hook line and sinker!
The Grimch had been hired before you could blink or
Wonder aloud ‘bout this funny new bloke
Who came into the office with his scythe and long cloak.
Things started smoothly, he did seem the best,
As he tackled old bugs and new feature requests.
But it all went downhill as the holidays grew close,
Soon a problem or two could be diagnosed.
Slowness abounded, meshes wouldn’t load,
Chat started to crash, things began to erode.
Soon there was a big mess, the employees grew tired
And the Grimch heard the words he’d expected: “YOU’RE FIRED”
With a sly Grimchy grin the Grimch packed up his stuff
And went back to his mansion – he had done enough.
“Those silly n00bs, they let my hacks fly”
“‘And now everything’s ruined!’ I’m sure they will cry”
“I must see for myself how the whole thing crashed down.”
So the Grimch logged onto Eyewire, to see the site drown.
He waited awhile to let the page load,
And prepared for disaster, but wait now, behold!
The UI was wonky, noticed the hacker,
The load times were painful, the chat text was backwards!
But even with problems and troubles galore,
The players kept tracing, then tracing some more!
He HADN’T stopped Eyewire from running, it ran!
Somehow or other it ran just as planned.
“It ran without heatmaps, it ran without scores”
“It ran without scouts’ log, without leaderboards.”
And he thought for 3 hours, til his small brain was sore,
Then the Grimch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe citizen science isn’t just interfaces”
“Maybe Eyewire gameplay’s not just points for traces”
And then what happened? Well in Eyewire they say,
That’s the Grimch’s small brain grew 3 sizes that day!
The minute his head didn’t feel quite so rotten
He knew how to mend all the bugs he’d begotten.
He fixed the page up til it all looked quite swell,
And he, HE HIMSELF, the Grimch finished the marathon cell.
Accuracy Happy Hours
Session 1 – 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM on Friday 12/14
Session 2 – 10:00 PM to midnight on Friday 12/14
Swag: Most accurate player completing at least 20 cubes wins 1 t-shirt and 1 sticker sheet!
Bonuses:
1st Place Accuracy – 10,000 points
2nd Place Accuracy – 8,000 points
3rd Place Accuracy – 6,000 points
Achieve 95% Accuracy – 5,000 points
Achieve 90% Accuracy – 3,000 points
Achieve 80% Accuracy – 2,000 points
1,000 points for anyone under 80% who still plays at least 20 cubes in either slot.
(These bonus thresholds are non-cumulative, i.e. they will not combine. If you earn 3rd place, for instance, and presumably got over 95% accuracy, you still earn a 6,000 point bonus, not 11,000.)
Grimchy Cubes
Begins at 12:01 AM on Saturday 12/15
Ends at 12:00 PM on Thursday 12/20
Swag: The top scoring player will win 1 mug and 1 sticker sheet! Second and third place each also win sticker sheets.
Bonuses:
1st Place Accuracy – 8,000 points
2nd Place Accuracy – 5,000 points
3rd Place Accuracy – 3,000 points
1,000 points for anyone under 80% accuracy who still plays all 12 cubes.
(These bonus thresholds are non-cumulative, i.e. they will not combine. If you earn 3rd place, for instance, and presumably got over 80% accuracy, you still earn a 3,000 point bonus, not 4,000.)
Trivia
Begins at 11:00 AM on Sunday 12/16
Continues until 11:00 AM on Tuesday 12/18
Finishes with Power Hour from 11:00 AM to 12:00 PM on Tuesday 12/18
Swag: The top scoring player will win 1 mug and 1 sticker sheet! Second and third place each also win sticker sheets.
Bonuses:
For every question —
1st to answer – 300 points
2nd to answer – 200 points
3rd to answer – 100 points
Fruit cake vs Aspic
Begins at 11:00 AM on Tuesday 12/18
Ends at 11:00 AM on Wednesday 12/19
Swag: 1 shirt, 1 mug and 3 sticker sheets will be raffled among the top 50% of players on the winning team!
Bonuses:
Earn 5,000 points – 2,500 bonus
Earn 15,000 points – 5,000 bonus
Earn 25,000 points – 10,000 bonus
Every additional 25,000 points – 5,000 bonus
Winning team – 10,000 bonus
Team winner – 5,000 bonus
#1 overall score – 10,000 bonus
#2 overall score – 5,000 bonus
#3 overall score – 2,500 bonus
Grimch Marathon
Begins at 8:00 AM on Wednesday 12/19
Ends at 8:00 AM on Thursday 12/20
Swag: 1 shirt, 1 mug, 1 poster, and 3 sticker sheets will be raffled among the top 25% of participating players!
Bonuses:
Complete 20 cubes – 2,000 point bonus
Complete 50 cubes – 5,000 point bonus
Complete 150 cubes – 20,000 point bonus
Complete 300 cubes – 40,000 point bonus
For every 150 cubes above 300 cubes – 2,500 points
If the cell is completed within 24 hrs, those mappers who:
- Complete at least 50 cubes will win rights to vote on a new name for the marathon cell.
- Complete at least 200 cubes will win rights to nominate a new name for the marathon cell.
Grimch Closing Ceremony
Begins at 4:00 PM on Friday 12/21
Come celebrate the end of this competition, where admins will recognize everyone’s achievements. As always, we will include a round of promotions for Scouts, Scythes, Mystics, Moderators, and Mentors. If you’d like a promotion, you can request them here.
Artwork by Daniela Gamba
Swag generously sponsored by @susi