Candyworld: Jawbreaker Cubes
Having finished your marshmallow-gathering in the Chocolate River (and looking like you got out of a mud wrestling match), you pull a cocoa-spattered card from your pocket to check your next destination on Candyworld’s colorful, gelatinous road. Evidently you are due to visit the Jawbreaker Cube Machine. “That sounds straightforward,” you decide, though as it happens, the path is not; you meet with many twists and turns before you reach a quaint little gingerbread cottage puffing sweet-scented smoke out its chimney.
Poking your head inside, you see something matching the image on your card, attended once more by dozens of Gummy Grims. What a fantastic, enormous contraption this is. Gears and cogs and whistles and lights! Here indeed is the preposterous device that makes Candyworld’s globally renowned Jawbreaker Cubes.
There’s a little ding from the machine, and from a tube near you, it spits out one of those cubes onto a waiting metal sample plate. Tentatively, you put the cube in your mouth, and then you grimace. Its flavor is mystical, absorbing, and overwhelming, but your head might crack apart from the effort required to bite through this hard candy shell. A few Gummy Grims squish their way over to watch your attempt, and suddenly, as you keep fighting with the one cube, the machine spits out eleven more. Twelve Jawbreaker Cubes! They’re so good… yet so evil! And it looks like the Grims expect you to eat all twelve, if you can possibly manage. One Grim pulls out a little chalkboard to inform you of your potential rewards:
90% accuracy or higher – Evil Cubes Grandmaster
80% accuracy or higher – Evil Cubes Master
Everyone else who completes all 12 cubes – Evil Cubes Challenger
… and the usual bonuses:
1st Place Accuracy – 8,000 point bonus
2nd Place Accuracy – 5,000 point bonus
3rd Place Accuracy – 3,000 point bonus
Complete all 12 cubes – 1,000 point bonus
Please remember that these bonuses are non-cumulative; first place accuracy gets a flat 8,000 points, for example.
These jawbreakers will be popping out of the machine starting 12/10 at 12:01 AM EST, and they will be up until 12/15 at 12:00 PM EDT. Let’s get crunching!
Artwork by Tyler Scagliarini