GREEN ALERT! Eyewire exposed to Chemical Z!
BREAKING NEWS
The Eyewire team has just gotten the news that a highly dangerous substance known only as “Chemical Z” has started leaking through the Eyewire servers, resulting in strange behavior from many of our players.
If you observe any of the following symptoms in any of your fellow players, please notify the Eyewire Team ASAP at support@eyewire.org!
Symptoms of Chemical Z exposure:
- Stilted movements
- Slowed mental processing
- Slurred speech
- Pale or slightly green complexion
- No pulse
- Sudden interest in brains
Chemical Z contains HIGHLY POTENT contagions. If you or anyone you know become exposed, report to Eyewire HQ immediately!
What you can do to protect yourself:
- Find a secluded place to hide – fallout shelters and abandoned warehouses make great hiding spaces
- Make sure you have a stock of non-perishables and first-aid with you
- Don’t forget the can opener!
- Obtain a weapon in for personal protection such as a splintered bat, or rusty chainsaw
- Cry and/or scream uncontrollably and abandon all hope
This has been a Special Report from Brainwire Headbrains. I’m Brains, signing braaaainssss. MMmmmm brainnnnssssssss.